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My Heart

"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places"
-Hemingway


I was recently in a relationship, it wasn't long but it was serious - or so I thought...
I found out (by looking in his phone - sneaky, sneaky) that he was cheating on me. This guy acted like I was his world. He told me he loved me (FIRST), said I was his best friend, and wanted to spend all his free time with me. It was moving a little fast for my comfort, but I thought I would just go with it and let myself be vulnerable. I have struggled with Body Dysmorphic Disorder for most of my life, so dating anyone is really hard for me, let alone being completely vulnerable with someone. I was so crushed that this man could look me in the eyes and tell me he loves me while texting another girl that he wishes he was with her! This is the second time this has happened to me, so I can't help but feel to blame. I am completely broken hearted by the situation, not the man. My goal is to take the hurt and use it as inspiration to get thinner, because thin = beautiful. Thats why these guys looked elsewhere. They want a girl they could pick up, one who is feminine and petite - and that is not me. I have to take my broken heart and get stronger by getting thinner. I need to take control of what I eat. I refuse to be disgusting anymore. I can't let another guy cheat with someone better.
 

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